Mindful Parenting: An Adventure in Being Present & Finding Peace

To prepare for the birth of our child, my husband and I enrolled in a Mindfulness-Based Childbirth Class. I had actually heard about it at a forum I attended for work. The key words that triggered my interest were “baby” and “reduce stress.” As anyone who knows me knows, I am one stressed out person. So I thought it would be a good class to teach me to reduce my stress and therefore be a better parent. It of course taught me way way way more than that, but its message was a whole lot more than that as well. It was all about being mindful during each second, each experience, each day, throughout your pregnancy, during your labor, and as parents. I kept associating mindfulness with being at peace—being less stressed. And for me, I think that is still a good goal. But the goal of the program, or at least the definition of mindfulness that I now understand relating to this class, is to be present at each of these moments and experiences, and to acknowledge them. Acknowledge your feelings, acknowledge that you are or are not being mindful. Well that’s actually a whole lot easier than always being at peace and stress free! I kinda like that definition (and thank you Savanna, for always reminding me when I freak out and say I’m not being mindful about something, that that acknowledgment is indeed being mindful!). But because I do tend towards pessimism and being a cranky pants, and because my main mommy idol Beth is someone who always looks towards the good in situations, my goal is to not only be present as a person and parent, but to try to look for the positive as well. My new mantra I picked up in the last few weeks that I’ve been chanting in my head, and sometimes out loud, as the baby cries in the middle of the night, as I realize how many things I have to do at work, as I have to find a back-up sitter, is “peace and patience.” That’s what I’m working towards. So the definition of mindfulness I will be working on in life, and in this blog, is being present, acknowledging my feelings (good or bad), but striving to think positive, to be at peace, to feel patient, and to remember how truly blessed we are. Hmmm kind of a big goal for 6:33 in the morning when I have a sore throat and my child hasn’t slept well in a week because he had a fever, then a nasty rash as a result of Gianotti-Crosti Syndrome (apparently a disease that a lot of Italian kids get according to google—random!), and Matt has to leave in 15 minutes to take our car to the shop to get the transmission fixed, and so on and so on …. Yes, I’m mindful that I’m really really tired, but as Kalev crawls over to me with a huge smile on his face I’m reminded again of the blessings of being a parent. So ok, time to start this day with a smile. And a cup of tea to soothe my throat :-)