The Lines on My Face

Yesterday I woke up with lines on my face. No, not those lines, although I am sure I have tons of those. But those crease lines you get on your face when you fall into such a deep sleep that you don't move at all and the proof is on your face. I don't know the last time I had a deep sleep. It seems like for months at least one, if not both, kids' sleep has been messed up with teething, transitions, growing pains, whatever (and who knows!). And that means that Matt and my sleep has of course been messed up (or in other words nonexistent, at least the deep kind). But yesterday I dropped Kalev off at preschool and he was fine--no tears, no fears as I had expected and worried about and planned to respond to before easing out. Nope, a nice, easy hug and kiss goodbye and off he went to dig more tunnels in the dirt. I got home, got Aviella down to sleep. And then I did it. I laid down too. I snuggled Baby Girl against me, that precious breath to breath goodness that I just love so much. I closed my eyes. And I stressed. Oy! There's so much to do! And one kid is at school, the other is asleep! I need to do be doing something. The birthday books, Baby Girl's 1st birthday party, sweep, mop, laundry, pay bills ... The list was so much longer. I can't lay down. And I certainly can't sleep! But now I'm laying down and not sleeping! That's even worse! I'm wasting even more time!

And then I woke up. Saw that clock: 11:20! May have said "oh shit!" because I had planned to leave at 11:30 to get back to school. Very happy I didn't oversleep. But I had lines on my face. I had the proof of my deep sleep. I had my baby girl in my arms, sweet milky breath whispering against my face, her soft hand rested against my ribcage. Not wasted time at all.

My snuggle bug

Heart Melting Moments

 Just a few little things that have been melting my heart lately ...

-       When I’m cooking dinner and suddenly feel small little arms wrap around my knees, tiny little fingers grip my thighs and a warm head nuzzle against the back of my legs. The. Best. Ever. (or at least one of them)

-       Kalev saying “I love you with all my might.”

 Photo by Michelle Byars

-       Kalev and Aviella cracking up while doing face plants on the bed.

-       Baby Girl raspberries against my knees and legs when I sit on the couch

-       Kalev looking down at his (naked) wrist to tell me how much longer we can play at the beach.

-       Kalev: “Ima, I like you forever. I like Aviella forever. I like Gracie and Elliot forever. I like Abba forever.”

-       When I get into bed, Kalev rolls over, locks an arm around my neck, and snuggles close with a huge smile. All while he is still asleep. That boy is full of love.

This is an old picture, but gosh I love that smile and snuggle :-)

-       Aviella stopping to hug me around the knees as she walks to a toy.

-    Dancing with my husband to our first song five years after that very special day. And still feeling mushy and tingly and excited and full, very very full, as we swayed around the front room, kids screaming and singing and dancing with us.

Feeling very very LUCKY tonight