The Lines on My Face

Yesterday I woke up with lines on my face. No, not those lines, although I am sure I have tons of those. But those crease lines you get on your face when you fall into such a deep sleep that you don't move at all and the proof is on your face. I don't know the last time I had a deep sleep. It seems like for months at least one, if not both, kids' sleep has been messed up with teething, transitions, growing pains, whatever (and who knows!). And that means that Matt and my sleep has of course been messed up (or in other words nonexistent, at least the deep kind). But yesterday I dropped Kalev off at preschool and he was fine--no tears, no fears as I had expected and worried about and planned to respond to before easing out. Nope, a nice, easy hug and kiss goodbye and off he went to dig more tunnels in the dirt. I got home, got Aviella down to sleep. And then I did it. I laid down too. I snuggled Baby Girl against me, that precious breath to breath goodness that I just love so much. I closed my eyes. And I stressed. Oy! There's so much to do! And one kid is at school, the other is asleep! I need to do be doing something. The birthday books, Baby Girl's 1st birthday party, sweep, mop, laundry, pay bills ... The list was so much longer. I can't lay down. And I certainly can't sleep! But now I'm laying down and not sleeping! That's even worse! I'm wasting even more time!

And then I woke up. Saw that clock: 11:20! May have said "oh shit!" because I had planned to leave at 11:30 to get back to school. Very happy I didn't oversleep. But I had lines on my face. I had the proof of my deep sleep. I had my baby girl in my arms, sweet milky breath whispering against my face, her soft hand rested against my ribcage. Not wasted time at all.

My snuggle bug