I’ve been meaning to write this post for three months, since the subject matter first became applicable. However, with the craziness of setting up my own practice, finding and meeting and working with clients, enjoying the joys of spring in Davis with an active toddler, working through my goal of reading all 209 Nora Roberts books, and just being a mom, the blog has of course sat on the backburner. Then today, as we were walking through the hallway to leave for our morning walk, Kalev pointed to our Ketubah (Jewish marriage contract). When I realized that what he was pointing to was the subject matter of the blog post I’d been writing in my head for months, I realized it must mean I better get on it. After all, a Ketubah is a symbol of promises, of love and marriage with your spouse, and a covenant with G-d. So it was an ah-ha moment, a sign, that it was time to sit down, table the work on the presentation, and write all about the joys of birdwatching, Kalev’s current favorite activity.
I’ve never really liked birds (sorry Byron, my avid birder friend). Their beady eyes, sharp beaks and the potential to poop on your head and your car gives me the creeps. So when Kalev started pointing and madly gesturing a few months ago I had no idea what he was so excited about. It took me a few walks, and some monkey screeches accompanied by aggressive pointing, to realize Kalev was spotting birds. Ok, fine, I’ll label the bird, give him the sign and continue on our walk. Nope, not enough. This boy fell seriously in LOVE with birds. My sweet boy who does not have much “big boy” language or signs, picked up the sign for bird within a few days. Wow. This quickly followed by saying his version of the word bird, something that sounds like “bahd-bahd,” but hey, this is huge progress. So I listened and got it: birds were important to Kalev, so they would be important to me.
We started stopping on our walks to watch the birds, to label them and practice the sign and the word. Our stops became more frequent and longer, not just to point and notice, but to really watch. And hey, birds are kinda cool. They hop, they stare at you, they peck, they make fun noises, they balance on teeny tiny telephone lines, they sit on tree branches, and they fly. And for a child, new to all things this world has to offer, all those things are the absolute coolest of cool. So I started to look at birds through Kalev’s eyes, away from my fear of getting pecked or pooped on. How something so small can make such delightful sounds, can follow your movements as you inch closer to them, then soar away, high high into the trees. And to watch them fly—wow, that’s pretty cool. Who doesn’t like the idea, or the dream, of flying? Of spreading your wings and soaring? So I started to get it. And we started to see birds everywhere. We see them on our walks, flying from tree to tree, sitting with their birdy friends, pecking at the ground. We saw a nest with a mommy bird flying to and from it on top of the Tutti Fruiti sign by the North Davis Nugget as we waited for Matt to bring out our morning hot chocolate and scone. That was neat. To talk to Kalev about a mommy bringing food for her babies, to see that mommy in action, and to hear the happy little chirps of the satisfied babies. So birdwatching is also a learning time for Kalev, a chance for me to teach him more about this world and for him to grasp some of that knowledge and understanding all by himself. Everyday Kalev points out the birds in his current favorite book, I Am a Little Lion, which we use when he’s on the potty. The joy he has in identifying the tiny drawn objects in the background of the pages is so delightful to watch and brings a jubilant mood that’s contagious. I was so surprised, and of course, proud, that my smart little boy could understand that the birds he saw flying outside could also be drawn in books. Yes, I know, duh!, of course kids get it, but it was the first time, other than doggies (and this boy is surrounded by all things doggies) that he made that connection and I loved it. Go birds! When we buy the dogs’ food at Petco we check out the birds there … and that’s a little sad. Those birds aren’t moving or flying or even pecking. They just sit there. Kalev was pretty confused and kept pointing and signing for bird. And I was like, yep, those are birds, but not like the ones you see on our walks. Ok enough depressing cage free thoughts.
As I have gotten wrapped up in Kalev’s passion for birds, I find myself scouting them out and rushing to point them out to him if he doesn’t notice them himself. “See that bird over there?” “Look at that bird flying!” “Kalev, there’s a bird!” I’m excited by it all, the joy of finding the birds, of watching what they do, and looking at my beautiful son as his smile transforms his face with the delight he has when he sees that bird. He is so excited and happy! This world is pretty amazing, and we are very very blessed to be part of it. It helps to have a child remind you of these things, especially the little ones that we take for granted, like birds.
So what did Kalev point to at the bottom of our Ketubah this morning? A tiny bird, of course, one that I haven't thought about, despite the fact that I’ve looked at that Ketubah everyday in the last two and a half years Matt and I have been married. The Ketubah we chose is called the "Song of Songs," all about love and happiness and singing birds and nature. And I had forgotten! Now, every time I pass the symbol of my love and promises to my husband and to my G-d, I will think of the love and promises to my child, to be with him on his journey of discovery and the joy of finding delight in so many amazing things. Thus, I can thank Kalev for the new lessons of mindful parenting this whole birdwatching thing has taught me: kids see our world in new and totally cool ways that adults either don't know about or don't think about anymore, join them on that journey; discover what passions your child has, encourage them, learn about them, and have fun with them; and birds aren’t so bad.
