The Joy of Birdwatching

I’ve been meaning to write this post for three months, since the subject matter first became applicable. However, with the craziness of setting up my own practice, finding and meeting and working with clients, enjoying the joys of spring in Davis with an active toddler, working through my goal of reading all 209 Nora Roberts books, and just being a mom, the blog has of course sat on the backburner. Then today, as we were walking through the hallway to leave for our morning walk, Kalev pointed to our Ketubah (Jewish marriage contract). When I realized that what he was pointing to was the subject matter of the blog post I’d been writing in my head for months, I realized it must mean I better get on it. After all, a Ketubah is a symbol of promises, of love and marriage with your spouse, and a covenant with G-d. So it was an ah-ha moment, a sign, that it was time to sit down, table the work on the presentation, and write all about the joys of birdwatching, Kalev’s current favorite activity.

I’ve never really liked birds (sorry Byron, my avid birder friend). Their beady eyes, sharp beaks and the potential to poop on your head and your car gives me the creeps. So when Kalev started pointing and madly gesturing a few months ago I had no idea what he was so excited about. It took me a few walks, and some monkey screeches accompanied by aggressive pointing, to realize Kalev was spotting birds. Ok, fine, I’ll label the bird, give him the sign and continue on our walk. Nope, not enough. This boy fell seriously in LOVE with birds. My sweet boy who does not have much “big boy” language or signs, picked up the sign for bird within a few days. Wow. This quickly followed by saying his version of the word bird, something that sounds like “bahd-bahd,” but hey, this is huge progress. So I listened and got it: birds were important to Kalev, so they would be important to me.

We started stopping on our walks to watch the birds, to label them and practice the sign and the word. Our stops became more frequent and longer, not just to point and notice, but to really watch. And hey, birds are kinda cool. They hop, they stare at you, they peck, they make fun noises, they balance on teeny tiny telephone lines, they sit on tree branches, and they fly. And for a child, new to all things this world has to offer, all those things are the absolute coolest of cool. So I started to look at birds through Kalev’s eyes, away from my fear of getting pecked or pooped on. How something so small can make such delightful sounds, can follow your movements as you inch closer to them, then soar away, high high into the trees. And to watch them fly—wow, that’s pretty cool. Who doesn’t like the idea, or the dream, of flying? Of spreading your wings and soaring? So I started to get it. And we started to see birds everywhere. We see them on our walks, flying from tree to tree, sitting with their birdy friends, pecking at the ground. We saw a nest with a mommy bird flying to and from it on top of the Tutti Fruiti sign by the North Davis Nugget as we waited for Matt to bring out our morning hot chocolate and scone. That was neat. To talk to Kalev about a mommy bringing food for her babies, to see that mommy in action, and to hear the happy little chirps of the satisfied babies. So birdwatching is also a learning time for Kalev, a chance for me to teach him more about this world and for him to grasp some of that knowledge and understanding all by himself. Everyday Kalev points out the birds in his current favorite book, I Am a Little Lion, which we use when he’s on the potty. The joy he has in identifying the tiny drawn objects in the background of the pages is so delightful to watch and brings a jubilant mood that’s contagious. I was so surprised, and of course, proud, that my smart little boy could understand that the birds he saw flying outside could also be drawn in books. Yes, I know, duh!, of course kids get it, but it was the first time, other than doggies (and this boy is surrounded by all things doggies) that he made that connection and I loved it. Go birds! When we buy the dogs’ food at Petco we check out the birds there … and that’s a little sad. Those birds aren’t moving or flying or even pecking. They just sit there. Kalev was pretty confused and kept pointing and signing for bird. And I was like, yep, those are birds, but not like the ones you see on our walks. Ok enough depressing cage free thoughts.

As I have gotten wrapped up in Kalev’s passion for birds, I find myself scouting them out and rushing to point them out to him if he doesn’t notice them himself. “See that bird over there?” “Look at that bird flying!” “Kalev, there’s a bird!” I’m excited by it all, the joy of finding the birds, of watching what they do, and looking at my beautiful son as his smile transforms his face with the delight he has when he sees that bird. He is so excited and happy! This world is pretty amazing, and we are very very blessed to be part of it. It helps to have a child remind you of these things, especially the little ones that we take for granted, like birds. 

So what did Kalev point to at the bottom of our Ketubah this morning? A tiny bird, of course, one that I haven't thought about, despite the fact that I’ve looked at that Ketubah everyday in the last two and a half years Matt and I have been married. The Ketubah we chose is called the "Song of Songs," all about love and happiness and singing birds and nature. And I had forgotten! Now, every time I pass the symbol of my love and promises to my husband and to my G-d, I will think of the love and promises to my child, to be with him on his journey of discovery and the joy of finding delight in so many amazing things. Thus, I can thank Kalev for the new lessons of mindful parenting this whole birdwatching thing has taught me: kids see our world in new and totally cool ways that adults either don't know about or don't think about anymore, join them on that journey; discover what passions your child has, encourage them, learn about them, and have fun with them; and birds aren’t so bad.

Walking Meditations

In our childbirth class we used a walking meditation a few times as one of our formal mindfulness practices. When we met for our reunion I shared that mindful walking was one of the formal practices in which I continued to undertake, although I hadn't really thought of it as a formal meditation or mindfulness practice before then. At that time Kalev was about two months old and I was on maternity leave. I would put Kalev in the Baby Bjorn and take him and the dogs out for a walk through the park or on the greenbelt. I loved it. Now, over a year later, I still take my walks, although now I am much more aware that I view them as a type of formal mindfulness practice. It's a time for me to enjoy nature--the smells, the sights, and the sounds of it. I don't take a cell phone or an iPod--it's just my babies and me. And my thoughts. Sometimes those thoughts tick off things to do but mostly they are just noticing what's around me. And that's what my goal is for these walks. Just to be. And to be mindful of the blessing of the nature that surrounds us and my family that is accompanying me on these walks.

As I mentioned, I share these walks with my three babies. And that definitely enhances the experience. For the dogs, this is the highlight of their day. They are completely mindful of the experience and notice many more things than I would have noticed had I been walking by myself. They literally stop to smell the roses (and then pee on them of course!). Since I let them stop and sniff, at least most of the time, I stop too. My walk is not a rush to get from Point A to Point B. And sometimes when I try to make it that way, my dogs remind me to slow down and smell those roses. Look at how beautiful the plants are. That the leaves have changed colors or have fallen off the trees. Feel that sun on your face. Dogs are good teachers of mindfulness.

And of course Kalev accompanies me on these walks. He, too, is an amazing mindfulness teacher. All babies are--they live for the moment, for the joy of the experience. There are no to do lists for them, there aren't even clocks. They just enjoy the experience of the walk. Kalev makes my walks such an amazing mindfulness and bonding experience. I have never walked Kalev in a stroller. We've used a variety of baby carriers for our walks and around the house. If you're into that thing you call it baby wearing. It's a beautiful concept. It simply means that you carry your baby. For many parents who follow attachment parenting principles, it means you carry that baby a lot. And they thrive. You as a parent do too because there are so many incredible benefits to babywearing (here are some resources about baby wearing if you want to learn more: Dr. Sears’ on babywearing, BabywearingInternational, thebabywearer.com). Wearing Kalev has truly made my walking mindfulness practice a communal experience, which might seem to counteract the whole mindfulness thing. But, as I mentioned, him being part of my walk truly enhances my experience, and in turn, my practice. Right now I wear Kalev in an Ergo baby carrier. His chest is against mine. I can feel the heat of his body and love that our breaths can join together because we are that attuned to one another. Because his face is so close to mine I experience the walk through his eyes as well as my own. I see the delight in those eyes as we walk, just for the pure joy of being on a walk. I see the curiosity spark and his neck crane as we pass people, dogs, bicyclists and utility workers. What are they doing? There's so much of this world that he is still learning about and that I in turn get to relearn or rethink about when I am with him. There's excitement in those eyes as a squirrel climbs a tree. And there's happiness as he leans back in the carrier so that he can look up at the trees. That's my favorite--he loves to look at how the leaves rustle and how the light shines through those tree limbs. And I love to watch him laugh and smile and reach out with his tiny hands to try to touch those tall trees.

It's also a time of such sharing of love between us. Sometimes he rests his head against my chin or my chest. We can give each other Eskimo or real kisses. And sometimes he just reaches out to give me a squeeze. I absolutely love those squeezes. I squeeze him all the time. Because I just can't get enough of him. Guess he feels the same way :-) Sometimes we talk to each other or sing. And sometimes we are just quiet and just take it all in. There's no pressure, there's no outline, there's just us, nature, and being. It's great.

This morning we took our walk in a blanket of fog. Winter hasn't really hit northern California all that much this year. But this morning it felt wintry. Normally I don't like the cold but I enjoyed this walk in it. The fog makes you feel separate from other people, like you are just walking in your own hazy place. And the air was so heavy and wet, but smelled and tasted so clean when I breathed it in. I love the feeling of fresh, clean air. This walk made me think of others I have taken in the past before I thought of them as mindfulness experiences. This foggy morning walk especially made me think of Ireland and the many walks I took there, over rolling green hills, across rocky cliffs, through rain and in the sun, always breathing in air that felt so incredibly pure. I loved being in Ireland and realize now that many of the walks there I experienced with a sense of joy, peace, and lots of introspection: hence, mindfulness. 

 Cliffs of Moher, Ireland 2008

Another memory is Masada. Very different from lush green hills and heavy wet air. We woke up before dawn and watched the sun rise above the Israeli desert. As we climbed up that high high rock to the ruins, I sensed a different flavor in the air: the air there is holy, you just feel it and know it is. You are a bit in awe, especially as you look over the side of the rock to the ground so incredibly far below you. To be mindful there is very easy to do. 

 Masada, Israel 2005

There are also less exotic walks I have taken that I feel have put me into a more mindful frame of mind: walks along various beaches, under the giant trees in Big Trees, even my family's common one in the Davis arboretum. A chance to escape the bustle of life and just be. A great opportunity to teach your children the value of living in, loving, and caring for nature, as well as taking time to just allow yourself to think and feel as you walk. And a great experience to share with the many teachers that can show us how natural this practice (of course not a practice for them at all, but just a state of being) is, our babies and our dogs.

Do you ever find yourself taking those mindful walks? Do you consider unplugging enough to fully absorb the experience? Where have some of those walks taken you? And with whom have you shared them?