So Fast ...

So fast ...

Waving around the stick in glee

The plus sign

A sign I had been waiting for

Wait, better check again

Yes, yes it's true!

But better get the blood check just to make sure ...

Sick sick oh so sick

Was that a kick?

Push push, now a kick back!

Baby, you are in there

You are real

Push! Push!

On my side

So fast

Push! Ow! Push!

Blue baby in my arms. Oh god!

Chubby face, closed eyes, cheek rubbing against my chest

Thank God

Nurses rubbing her pink

It's a girl! A girl! I have a girl!

I thought I wanted all boys ...

But a girl, my girl, I have a daughter. Oh wow. So full of joy.

She's mine.

So tiny.

So much bigger than he was.

Look at those thighs!

And her tuchis!

Chunks and rolls and so warm

In my arms

No longer in my belly

How did that happen?

She smiles

She stretches

She sleeps against me

Faces inches from each other

We breath as one

Like we used to, but now she is against my belly instead of in it

Wow. Just wow. So amazing.

The tiny pudgy toes. The fingernails.

Oh look, her eyelashes have grown in!

When did that happen?

Naked butt after bath

Trying to rub lotion on a squirmy body

Pushing onto her knees

What?! How can that be?

Back arching against the wrap

Time to switch to the Ergo

Small fingers flutter against my ribs

Magic butterfly memories of love

Of connection

She moves

Slide push slide

Back back back

She's off the play mat!

But she's too young ...

Forward

Forward

She's off

One knee, scoot

Yes, she's across the room

Damn! That was fast

So fast

Ow! Tiny little corner of a tooth

Pokes against my fingertip

Poor hurting baby

Pulling pulling

How can she already pull herself up?

Big huge ginormous smile

So proud of herself

Look Ima, one-handed

I am amazing

Yes, my baby, you are

How do you do that?

Eyes follow the food from my plate

To my mouth

Big wide eyes

Watching watching

Guess it's time I share

The goodness the earth has given us

She may be ready

I’m not ready

My baby

No, I’m not ready

So fast

Asleep in my arms

Hand against my breast

She no longer fits in just my lap

Her feet rest against the couch arm

Seven and a half months

So fast

Stay stay

No, grow

...

But stay too.

Too fast

Three and a half years

So fast

A blur

So much

Come into my lap

Let me breathe in your hair

Your skin

Look into your eyes

My eyes

Mine

So fast

Let me remember

I can't slow it down

I often want to speed it up so I can just sleep

Let me hold you

Kiss you

Oh crap, forgot to brush your teeth

Must do that

Put on shoes

Pack bag

Get snacks

Go go go! We're late!

So so fast